I think my mom has seriously lost it. She deserves a one way ticket to the loony bin.

Relationship strained because i was trying to communicate with her, sharing my views on hairstyles and i accidentally used the word "shave" when i should've used "crop". I couldn't help it, i woke up less than a minute before the conversation and my brain was still on the sleep mode. This was all on Sunday morning. What has the company i mix with and the ink that i have, contribute in anyway at all, about me voicing out an opinion about a change in hairstyle? Always thinks i am being influenced because she bloody hell can't face the fact that her daughter IS the way she is.

She's been yelling at everyone in the house, my granny, my maid, my sister and myself. Everone's at fault but her. Commanding everyone to do something. I agree that having menopause or PMS is not an excuse to vent everything on someone else, I'm willing to work on my PMS. But she just can't face the fact that menopause is setting in. And for that, everyone else is suffering. That's what makes it so unbearable to be at home when she's awake. I do sleep in fear of her stabbing me. Why is she so quick to judge what others do but think naught of what she is doing to others?

I thought you've changed mummy. Now i'll think thrice about putting "mom" in memory of you, under my skin forever. What will take your place will be a scared and angry horse that has scars of the past, fresh wounds that penetrate deep into its body, torn flesh that expose the bones and chipped hooves from walking on the broken glass you've pathed out for my future. This is what you've so carefully crafted me into. This is what i've become.

The more you control me, the more i will rebel. You cannot stop me, this is my life, you've lived your own boring shitty life. It doesn't mean i'll let you ruin mine just because you gave birth to me. I will respect you when you've done your part as a supporting parent, when you've earned it from me, when i feel you are worthy of my respect.

"Body modification is for most young people a form of communication(that makes sense to them). By focusing on body mods as a problem, potential real problems are missed, and lines of communication become cut." - As with my mother.

suri thought at 11:05 PM