when i lose control of whatever emotions i have left, i fall face first into a cat fur covered comforter till i cannot breathe. that's when the tears start streaming. a start for crying. realizing that i'll look like an ugly puffed up maggot if i let go, i try to hold it together. holding my breath, clearing my mind. only to find out when i start to breathe again, my thoughts, the voices in my head, return to haunt me. and the cycle continues until im exhausted, and can barely open my eyes.

then an arm reaches out to me. i smile and pretend everything is alright. how simple it is at that moment to brush everything aside. and when im alone again, depression sets in.

suri thought at 10:58 PM